We would like to make it clear that the clown problem has been effectively neutralised. Clowns have been eradicated from our towns, cities, and countryside.
Should you see a clown, please report to the authorities immediately, in order that you can be inoculated against further sightings.
In the event that you repeatedly see clowns that are legally disallowed from your vision, a minor medical procedure shall be undertaken which will effectively resolve the fault.
Law-abiding citizens will not see the clowns.
There are no clowns.